Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Break my heart for what breaks yours...

Be careful for what you ask for, because it will be done in a BIG, BIG way.

Life has been a little messy inside this heart & head of mine. God has been stirring up quite a bit in my heart, and if you see me and this face of mine is all puffy, know that it's one of two things: 1) Too much stinking salt that day or....2) Deep, deep prayer. Both, very likely.

I wish I could say I don't know what's going on in this heart of mine, but I do. I've felt the pulling for quite some time now, but the timing, kind of like now, has never been right. But then I ask myself, "is the timing ever going to be right?"

Yesterday, I simply cried out to God to confirm what he's been doing in my heart, and if He is leading us to step out & do what my heart has been telling me. Prayer was intense... even in that quite moment, after spilling my heart, the tears & snot all over the place (can you feel me?)... begging for guidance / confirmation. I just sat there, in silence, covered in the presence of God. Then, the silence was confirmed by me praying for specific things that I would need in this situation & my spirit just started crying... gut wrenching crying... that didn't make any other sense other than God working. I know that cry, I know that feeling.

I know this is all vague, and you're probably shaking your head as if to say, "Crazy girl say what? She done gone & lost her marbles!"... but, please just bear with me for now. I am praying for confirmation & His perfect timing more than anything. Silly me asked Him to confirm if this is of Him by confirming it in Darryl's heart. That man has been so crazy-insane-busy lately with closing hotels, chasing hotels, and just dealing with hotels.. that I even wonder if he's had a chance to really tune in with God lately. But, God is God... and, I trust Him. So... we shall see people, we shall see.

Ironically, during prayer, I had my Pandora playing and the song "I am Waiting" by John Fuller came on. Ironically enough, it was the (very first) song that played on the radio about 3hrs. later when I got in the car to go pick up the little chicks from school. I mean, crazy or what?????? Is God good or is He good?

I know the obstacles ahead should we step out. There's been some messiness in our past that quite frankly, if we were even to get past step 1 in the process, it would be a sheer miracle from God. But, I am a firm believer that if God is in it... He will pull us thru it. If it's His will, He will pave the way. I am deeply rooted in my faith and trust my God with everything that I have, more than I could trust anyone that I can physically see. Sure, might seem a little wonky & crazy to some, but to me? Ah, His love it perfect.

So now, I wait. I'm waiting on God's perfect timing, to know without question if this is from Him, or just that crazy-deep-rooted love that I have in my heart.

I know my posts have been deep lately, and all centered around my faith. I know some of you aren't Christians, and I just want you to know that I'm just writing from my heart... what I feel I'm supposed to be sharing. About the growth in my life. About my heart. and just sharing what comes out. I know I've promised a fluffy family post, and darnit, I will cover myself with glue + cotton balls if I have to in order to share those fun "fluffy" little posts, but Sister, they are coming!

Today is Halloween, and it's suppose to be like 40 degrees tonight when we go trick or treating. I told the girls if we don't hit too many houses, to relax... there's plenty of candy at the store to be had. bawhahaha.... :)

Okay, I'm off to Sams to actually buy said Halloween candy. I bought one of those mac-daddied out bags from there about 3wks. ago. Pfft, gone! It took my girls no time to raid that bag and there is very little left. I mean, really? Hello fun trip to the Denist! So, back to square one and to pick up some more. I mean, who in the world can go thru that much chocolate in such a short amount of time? Wait, don't answer that.

Peace out Homies.

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